Up and at ’em early this morning to get boys off to rugby then re-wrote the story that I didn’t enter into this week’s Ad Hoc fiction. Let me explain. I wrote said  150 word story for and writing it made me cry – about the kids growing up – but I pressed the wrong button and didn’t sent it correctly so it was never entered. Bit of a bugger really because I tweeted how it had made me cry and a couple of lovely tweeps replied saying good luck and they’d try to guess which one it was. (Ad Hoc is judged by public vote and each piece is published anonymously). Tweeted again after I’d re-written it so they don’t waste their time tying to suss out which was mine! Had to be re-written as the prompt changes each week but as luck would have it this week’s prompt worked better and the story improved in the re-writing so all was good in the end.

Also finished my flash for Retreat West and one I’m saving for Sunday best. Not sure where I’ll send it. Its in 300 or 500 words so many options. Its not right for Bath I don’t think – bit dark. Might be better at Bare Fiction. Might send diff versions off to both. Need to win Ad Hoc first though to get a free entry! So not counting my chickens.

Did my blog at OU too so had quite a busy morning. Boys will be back anon then must go back home.

Reading OU manuals not going very well – keep managing to not prioritise them – so typical of me! Having read ‘getting started’ in the recommended readings list I have had  couple of ideas for the short stories I need to submit though. First is 2500 words short story fiction, second 2500 words Creative Non-fiction third is 4000 fiction. By a couple I mean three. One is v dark, one vv dark and the other seriously disturbing so I think my genre is horror/gothic scariness. No change there then.

So have done no writing or studying yet today due to: rows at home, having to drive, doing shopping/housework,doing more driving and going for a pot of tea with my friend Carol. I’m back at the wee house now so doing my blog before Harry and Murray get back.

Last night I enroled Harry at the gym in Wisbech which seemed to cheer him up muchly. He was in there for two hours so I sat in the caff in Tesco’s (the gym is in the same building as Tesco’s just opposite the caff) and read the intro to the course materials and intro to the forum on my iphone. Harry came out in a pretty good mood and by the time he did I knew a lot more about what is expected from me on the MA. Plan to read more tonight after the boys have had their teas.

Today  read a v. weird short story by Clarice Lispector who’s a Brazilian author translated  into English. Not sure if the weirdness is from the translation or the writer but I like it. Its weird in a good way.

I’m reading her stories because this October I’m having a story of mine published in a thang called No Bindings. It a sort of folded poster full of poems and flash fictions that you can read like a book or put on your wall and it’s accompanied by a podcast about the creative process. The editor Lily is coming to record me for the podcast bit in October and we’re going to explore the importance of memory in story writing whilst sorting through old photos  (This was inspired by Lily not being sure if my story was about real events or not.) I should stress Lily and I have never met and do not know each other beyond the fact that I submitted a flash story to her project) but this suggestion really struck a chord with me. My story is very sad – about loss – a fictional loss but everything I write, I realised, when pushed to consider it, is hovering in a hinterland close to autobiography but not quite – I use names of real people in an imagined setting, a real voice talking about a fictional happening. Lily thought my writing to be in the same continuum as Clarice Lispector (what a great name by the way) and now I’ve read one of her stories I kinda see what she means. Am going to read some more tonight when I’ve ploughed through the ‘how to use the on-line library’ bit of the website.

Lily is going to get all the contributors together too so we can chat about our work. I love the idea of this sort of ‘flash’ community that will meet once, share stories then dissolve – reminds me of the OU. You get so close to you tutor group digitally speaking for a year then you all break up come June never to meet again. You share such personal, intimate stuff, bearing souls and creativity then poof it all dissolves.

Right off to do some learning now. Oh yes – if you’re wondering why there’s a pug at the start of the page, it’s because when I started writing I thought I wouldn’t have much to say and thought it might fill the page up a bit. The pug in question is Hogarth who loves nothing better that to snooze on my chair, as you can see.

Back on the blog again after the dash of going back to school/college. George not entirely back to college but has done his induction for the new i-journalism course at CRC, starts properly on Monday. Not entirely sure what i-journalism is – think its a mixture of blogging, instagramming, digital photography, snap-chatting, tweeting and u-tubing with a sprinkling of app development chucked in. Doesn’t give details on website. My nephew Billy who works in PR and came to stay last week on a job in Peterborough says the Sun has an Instagram editor these days so shows what I know.

Harry went back to school last week and has been playing rugby practically every day. We had to drive to school three times even before term started for pre season training. He’s on the first fifteen this year but he’s having a tough time readjusting to being back – early mornings, long drives and newly extended school day not helping the usual reaclimatisation problems. Still I’m sure all will sort itself out in the fulness of time – anhyoo that’s not why I’m blogging – that would be because the OU website for the MA has gone live. Have decided that the focus of this blog will be to plot my progress as I try to become a better writer.

Have had a wee play on the website and it feels very daunting – the desktop is unfamiliar and seems to be a portal to room after room of stuff I need to know just to learn how to use it and the course materials! -never mind learning about Creative Writing I need to read the following first: Module guide, Forum Guide, How-to-use-the-on-line-library Guide, Assessment guide and that’s just for starters and everything’s digital so I’ll have to print them all out and read them with anotations like they used to do in the dark ages when there were only paper books (My default setting I’m afraid. I’m fine reading fiction digitally but manuals and  instructions just don’t go into my brain unless I scribble on them, read them twice, re-read them then then re-re-read them.And I have no printer here so I’m going to have to buy one and a wee table to put it on. So much to do prep-wise before I can even start learning about creative writing! But it must be done.

Tomorrow I will blog about my progress – might help secure what I’ve learned. I will also do my first OU MA site blog (we have a collective blog space where people have already started introducing themselves.) I will do the same in the morning.

Harry turned 16 on Tuesday which also didn’t help with the going back to school thing. He has such a rubbishly timed b/day – always the first week back after the longs hols – very depressing for him. I feel his pain as it was the same for me when I was a girl, only my birthday was always back to school in January after the Chrimbo holibobs – even worse if anything becuase it was back to school, freezing cold, everyone was skint, everyone was on a diet, everyone was sick of celebrating and just wanted to stay in eating gruel by themselves. On my 16th birthday I got a hairwash cos Mum and Dad were cash strapped – and that was wrapped up in old Xmas paper! So I really felt for poor old Harry and am taking him to join the gymn tonight now he’s sixteen by way of compensation. He’ll be back from school in a mo. Hoping the gymn thing will cheer him up.

Feeling very dozy this morning after staying up three nights in a row watching th’Olympics. It was so exciting watching the cyclists win last night. Laura Trott was wonderfully normal, crying like a real person at her final gold then crying more when her fiancé won his. I watched the gymnastics and Amy Tinkler win bronze despite having done her GCSE’s before the comp. Results when she gets home. What a superstar! Watched the swimming and team UK get a silver, then the boxing. When all that had finished I watched the biggest bunch of Eastern Europeans I’ve ever seen smashing the weight lifting world record. Think I’m getting addicted. I did this last time in 2012 then felt dead miserable when it had finished – post Olympics blues – what a dolt I am. It was the same feeling I got as a child when I’d finished all the Narnia books and there were none left to read. I’m already worrying about getting it instead of simply enjoying it all. Will paste pics of 2012 tomoz. Saw Mo Farrah get one of his golds in 2012 and Usain Bolt win the 100 metres. It was so amazing.

Its weird being up late in the hols. I see quite a lot more of the boys, bumping into them and their mates in the kitchen. Harry came home late last night with a couple of friends who stayed over. I haven’t seen one of them for a couple of years and I didn’t recognise him. He used to be a teeny, ordinary sort of boy. He’s now six foot two massive. Hench the boys say. I think its ‘hench’ it might be ‘henge.’It means built like a brick shithouse. Funny how they invent new words. ‘Rare’ is another one they say all the time meaning ‘a bit weird’ and ‘special,  ‘a one off.’

On the writing front am finishing a weird little flash about getting old, written as a series of instructions about firelighting. Will finish it today and send it off to Halo Litzine which is a new Flash mag for women. Have had a couple of stories published or accepted for publication which is good news but will write about that tomorrow as have to go to railway station now.

Household of five sleeping teenage boys (three on sleepovers), one snoring husband, two sleeping/snoring pugs and one dozy cat, all still in the land of nod at 10.02am on a Monday morning due to it being the holidays and everyone staying up till wee small hours watching th’Olympics and Usain Bolt winning the 100 metres yet again. I am awake as I have chores to do early doors and had to get up to do them then couldn’t get back to sleep. Made the mistake of logging on and started tweeting following the publishing of the results of the Flash Icon Competition at Molotov Cocktail Litzine where I got a ‘no cigar honourable mention’ for my story The Making of Legends. So pleased to see writers mentioned there who I have read and admired in the past, especially the wonderful @FEClark who has won first prize. I haven’t read the stories yet as they aren’t out for a few days but I’ll review them here when I have.

Many, many congrats to all the winners in the top ten and the many who have’no cigar’ honourable mentions and also to all those with no mentions at all. As developing writers, honing our skills, we enter competitions to develop and progress our craft and it’s so important not to lose heart when we don’t win. Hope this doesn’t sound arsey but it’s weird re-entering a comp. you’ve just won – sort of setting yourself up to fail – and if I’m honest I did vacillate about entering this time. The reasons I did were because:

• you have to learn to take the rough with the smooth if you’re going to be a writer
• I love Molotov Cocktail and the online community of talented writers of seriously weird flash fictionistas who contribute to it,
• its not all about the winning – its about progression and learning
• to sort of ‘get over myself’ and move onwards and upwards
• Not that I’m comparing myself to him, but one day even Usain Bolt will either lose or retire before he does, but until then he’s fearless and I hope that’s where I can be like him, cos if there’s one way to fail its to be too fearful not to try in the first place.

Very much looking forward to the next Molotov theme which is horror and am already hatching a creepy idea which will probably  keep me awake for several nights over the coming weeks before my MA starts. Whether it gets a win or a nothing its difficult to predict since its not yet written but I hope I learn stuff in the writing of it.

It’s now 10.31 and still no-one’s up. Might get cracking with a first draft actually since the opportunity has presented itself.

Am writing this drinking a humungus vat of excellent coffee at Granny Dot’s dining table. We’ve had a swift visit to New Arlesford that ends lunchtime today. We’ve had big chats, yummy food, probs too much good white wine and massive family dins with Nick’s cousin Ben and his family. All our kids are growing up so quickly. Three of them are now teenagers. It weird to watch how their behaviours to one another change. They saw each other once or twice a year when they were wee and fell into easy play. Now as teenagers the awkwardness is palpable especially at first and the gender gap has widened. I know its only a phase and all will reconfigure itself when they get past these trickerty years but it does make you feel for them all.

Soooo fab to see Ben and Lisa though. They don’t change. If anything they’re getting younger. Ben told us a funny, funny tale about his dad being a touch riske (can’t find an acute accent) with the middle aged, middleclass housewives of Hexham. Will write it into a flash fiction be because its really funny.

Read a chapter written by Dot in a consciousness book and its so full with potential for flashes that I’ve asked her to send me it digitally. So very many weird happenings which you (for that read I) couldn’t make up.

Right I’m off now. Sleepy teenagers to shoehorn off the sofa bed.

So I find myself having to stay up till 1 o clock, waiting to pick up my teenage son and his mates from a party and have decided to take this opportunity of enforced wakefulness to write a wee blog entry.

Had a lovely time last weekend with a visit from the Asplin family who stayed for three sleeps. Clarey and I have known each other since our kids were in pre-school. She left the village to live in Yorkshire a couple of years ago and now we see much more of each other than we ever did when she lived round the corner.

Finally used the pizza oven Sunday night for the first time since May and had a few friends and rellies over. The weather has been so pants at the weekends all through summer so far that its been almost impossible to use it but it was warm and clear last Sunday so we took advantage.

Stayed at Bob’s last night. We had dins in Biggleswade which was lovely. Had an espresso martini. It will not be my last.Writing wise I’ve been working on a short story which is a weird take on The Snow Queen and two flashes, one for Molotov cocktail for their Flash Icon comp which finishes tomorrow. Not sure I’ll get it finished or send it off if I do. Will look at it in the morning and see if I like it enough. Feels weird entering a comp I’ve won recently – a bit like setting yourself up for disappointment. The current story is ok but not as good as the one that won but I’m of the opinion that a story isn’t finished until its been read so it would be daft not to send it out into the world. As a writer you have to get used to rejections and blanks so I hope I do have the courage to end it off even if it is imperfect. I’m also working on a smaller flash called Mixed Messages which I’m finding difficult to edit as its very emotive and I get upset every time I try to polish it. Think its finished now though so might send that out into the world tomorrow too just so its out there.

Off to Granny Dots tomorrow lunchtime with the family. My friend is house sitting whilst we’re away for a couple of nights. She’ll look after the pugs and chickens. Dot’s been very unwell and can’t visit us here so its a drive to Winchester for me. Must google the nearest swimming pool so as not to miss my half mile swims whilst I’m there. Went to see the doc today about the pain in my shoulder. Its a rotary cuff prob and will be much improved if I keep up the swimming so intend to… keep up the swimming.

Here’s a pic of Clarey winning her first boxing match. She’s back in training now for the next bout. Really should write this into a short story. The stuff she’s done over the last couple of years is truly extraordinary.

Right signing off. It’s 12.30 and time to get the boy. Hope he remembers this when I’m an annoying, weird old lady who smells of wee who he wants to put into a home.

Feels like an age since I last wrote this blog in my girl shed up the garden on a quiet afternoon. Since I last did, I have:

Been to Cartmell races for a weekend with the Kaneen clan and lost £70 without getting a first second or third placing in any of the seven races. Pretty good going that and a shame you don’t get a prize for picking losers. My feminist strategy of betting only on pink shirts and lady owners did not pay off this year but it will one day I’m sure.

Been to the Test Match at Old Trafford – which was brill, England getting two centuries and the weather cracking the slabs. Even got a bit of colour on my pasty ‘staying inside writing,’ skin.

Saw Salford Red Devils in Salford get beaten by Hull but they played really well and it was an exciting match.

Been to Dublin on a hen night with the Bolton and Dublin ladies who could quite frankly drink both Salford Reds and Hull rugby league teams under the table.

Seen bessie mate Clarey win her first ladeez boxing match in Wakefield. She won by a county mile despite being one of nicest people you could ever meet. It was an eye opener seeing her hitherto never suspected raw aggression coming to the fore as she marmalized (is that a word) the opposition.

Had good chats with six of my seven nephews and nieces (the other one being in Oz where he now lives and works)

Had dins with me Dad who can cook a really wonderful meal

Swum half a mile each day for the last six days.

Had an interview published on Bath Flash Fiction Website. (I interviewed the editors of Molotov cocktail.) Here is a link to it in case you fancy a read. http://bathflashfictionaward.com/2016/07/the-molotov-cocktail-a-projectile-for-explosive-flash-fiction-interview-with-josh-goller-the-brain-behind-the-mayhem/

Things I haven’t done in the last three weeks include:

Writing an award winning short story or flash fiction

Writing any more of my novel.

Writing much at all

There’s a pattern there and its making me jittery all this not writing so I’ve legged it oop the garden now the shopping and swimming is done and started with this before I need to go and cook dins for the ravening hoards then will then move on to my ‘flash in progress.’

Just before I jog on, here’s the photo of me  at Chester Uni getting a copy of Patches of Light from the High Sheriff as mentioned in previous post. Have a full on night and tomorrow planned so might not get chance to write again until Monday.

Had a wonderful night on Wednesday at the launch of Patches of Light at Chester University. My story the Time Travellers Daughter is in it. Here’s a link in case you fancy getting a copy.

http://tinyurl.com/zd8auy3

It was fab to meet the writers and staff in such convivial surroundings. There was wine, bookish chatter, readings and photos. Here’s one of us all gathered at the end. There were individual ones too as the High Sheriff presented us each individually with a copy of the anthology. I’ll post mine when it arrives. I found the best bit of the evening to be sharing writing experiences with two of the contributors Mary and Andrew. It’s so weird putting faces and people to the tales they wrote. I’ve read half of the anthology so far and the stories are so very good I feel privileged to be included. Anyway the whole experience has filled me with enthusiasm to get cracking with my many ‘in process’ stories to get them finished and polished for sending out. Writing is such a solitary practice (in the real world not in cyberspace) so its great to see the results of the solitary making ripples in the real world.