It’s quite comforting sitting here in my new old armchair (from Ebay) in the wee house with the teeny weeny fire lit, writing away and listening to the traffic surf past outside on the rainy road. The flames from the fire shhhh like a quieter version of the tires which really rattle everything as they whizz past. The house opens straight out onto the pavement – a small pavement on a busy road – so the cars are unusually close. Its a weird, safe-but-only-just feeling which has the curious effect of magnifying the feeling of safety for me. Its probably because I grew up on a busy main road and used to like to drop off all snuggly- buggly listening to the mayhem two paces away, just outside.

It must be chucking-out time at small school because I can hear every toddler and pushchair surf past too.

Glad to be feeling ok this aftie cos I felt proper pants last night and this morning but got up at the usual 6am to muster the sleepy boys into action.

Thought I might have a wee kip when I got here so yucky did I feel, but had to get coal and wood if I wanted to keep warm, and milk and bread as well, so I pulled myself together, girded me loins and went to Tesco’s.

Shopping done, fire lit, washing in, I thought – if you’re well enough to do that you can do a chapter – so I did. I re-visited ‘Rhetorical Styles’ in the A363 book and finally understood what it was going on about. Did all the exercises in said chapter and pre-read the next chapter for doing properly tomorrow. Also did a final edit of my Kathy Fish stuff  which I will revisit late tonight then send offsky. That way it will be gone and I won’t fetish over it when the tutor group goes live on Friday.

If I do a chapter of A363 each day this week, I’ll be done and dusted exactly in time for A802 and hopefully ‘match fit’ for the opening of the academic season.

Just cooked a mahoosive fry up for Harry and Murray at the wee house. They’ve got rugby this aftie so it’s allowed. Much protein was consumed and H has gone to get his hair cut at the uber-cool barbers on the high street.

Its run by a couple of skilled hipsters, masters in the art of anything hirsute – no beard is too bushy, no hair to bald to be beyond their dark trimming and polishing arts.

The shop looks like its from 1955 all bright red and dark wooden with a rotating, retro red-and-white barbers sign. (You know – bone and blood poles from the days when barbers were not afraid to carry out the odd amputation.) Hope they do a good job – hairwise not cutting anything else off.)

They do look very stylish. They have a retro van from the sixties with an old Edwardianesque logo on it – actually they are as much ‘Edwardian moustache curl’ as they are 1950s quiff – but it would only take one slip of the clipper and woof – Harry disaster. On the plus side they sell good wax so, either way, he should come home with summat good.

Anyhoo MA writing-wise been reading mostly, and doing exercises in the goddam A363 handbook. Did the chapter on Voice – no problem – all v useful but now doing rhetorical tricks. Its not really called that but, like much of this chapter, I’m struggling to remember the names of things. Parenthesis this, litotees that – yada yada yada. Am going to read it all again on Monday. Won’t have time this weekend as Bob’s coming tonight and tomorrow we’re taking Roz out for Sunday lunch for her b-day. Having struggled for half a day I decided that the best way to learn about creating mood and suspense is to read some Stephen King – read him as a writer as the A363 book suggests. This is very hard because he’s so gripping I keep slipping into reading-as-a-reader, a scared stiff, heeby-jeebied reader at that!

Scared myself half to death last night sitting in this wee, darky house reading the scary bits (which is all of)  The Shining. Seriously scary.

Made me feel a wee bit daunted cos King is so vv good at this and quite a lot of The Shining’s tension is about pace and keeping things held back for ages whilst drip-drip-dripping scary shit at you all the time. You can’t really do that in the shortest stories (and the ones I have to submit on my course are mostly v short indeed) but its a lesson well-learned for my scary novel.

Also, I was writing a Flash at the same time, about Alzheimers and the moon (its a long story.) It was going to be sad and wistful but its turned angry and wistful influenced by Jack in the Shining – he sneaked into my elderly, female, first-person narrator without me realising.

Have set that story to one side now and will re-read Monday. Its part of my submission for the Kathy Fish Fellowship at SmokeLong magazine. Have to send four Flashes and lots of other info in by 30th September. Have no hope of getting this – its just about THE most prestigious thing in Flash, but if I do it every year, one day I might be good enough to get a mention.

Right – back to the possessed snowy mountaintop hotel to scare my metaphorical bollocks off. At least its daylight.

Been working hard doing background reading for my MA as well as free writing and doing the exercises from the Course Book A363 which I now have a little more love for. Think I’ve actually learned quite a lot from the problematical ‘splicing chapter.’ All good but very boring to blog about so won’t bother. Had a lovely time with Clarey at weekend who came to stay for a single sleep. Took this picture of the tiny Wisbech garden because it looked luminously green in the grey rain but it hasn’t come out in the photo – must have been the dark light. Have written a couple of Flashes that I quite like and organised my folders so been a busy little boo.

Been beavering away at the OU stuff in all my spare time. Re-read the first four chapters of BRB (Big Red Book – a Workbook with Readings for OU Course A215 Creative Writing) and was rejuvenated. Flushed with vigour I then dared to revisit The BBB (Big Blue Book – also a workbook with readings for course A363 – Advanced Creative Writing) and started to falter. The BRB is sooooo good and inspirational and the BBB is sooooooo less so.

Luckily I decided to do the chapter in the BBB written by the writer of the BRB Linda Anderson and found it very useful. Am now doing ‘Splicing the Strands’ which is hard to stay focussed on. (That’s probs why I’m writing this blog.)

Last night when I should have been reading the BBB I sent a poem off to the new webpage ‘Strange Poetry’ which does what it says on the tin. I wrote a weird poem in May for a weird poetry competition in Molotov Cocktail Litzine. I did this when George was very ill in hospital, then when he came home I slept for twelve hours and missed the deadline so its been sitting there ever since, haunting me.

‘Strange Poetry’ got back straight away saying that its exactly the sort of weird they’re looking for and they’ll publish it on 17th December. Will post a link when they do. In the meantime they sent me a sticker to paste where-so-ever I go in cyberspace so that’s what that is then, at the start of this post – my badge of strangeification.

Also my sad story that I cocked up sending last week, is finally up at Ad Hoc Fiction web edition.  Read it again and it still brought a lump to my throat but that’s because its personal not because its brilliant. Just glad someone somewhere will read it.

Also got an e-mail from Molotov Cocktail yesterday asking for my third person details for their anthology in which I have two wee stories. So exciting. Must write them today (I can do one third person plug for each story.) I’ve got to send them my snail mail details too so they can send me my copies of the Anthology when its out. Sooooo exiciting.

Right back to the BBB – got to do a chapter then learn how to use the OU Library.

 

Finally read the blurb at the OU Website this morning bout the following: Forums and netiquette; Assessments; how to the use the on-line library, (I read it but still don’t know how to very well and I couldn’t download the reader program so gave up.) How to attend on-line webinars – but again couldn’t find the software to download so gave up on that too.

Will get Bob to do it for me next time he’s here and has time. He was here this morning as he’s taking H golfing for his birthday pressie but then was not the time. H was back late from a sleepover which he cycled to and from but they’re off now for the day for a full round and dins. Hope they have a good time. Not much else to report except no more studying for me today. Got to do the ironing and its more a small planet’s worth than a mere mountain. Still now I’ve navigated round the ‘how to’ stuff on the MA site I can start the coursework which is to read the first 4 chapters of the course book for Course A215 and to start keeping a notebook. Beginning  tomorrow therefore, I shall get religious with da notebook again. Haven’t used one properly since last year as when I’m not doing  a course I do on-line jottings in a very higgledy-piggledy way, putting story ideas here and there in random folders and unfiled fragments that I can’t always find which is no good at all for OU courses where you need to be able to track ur progress through time, logging ur development.

An actual hard copy notebook is soooo much better when ur doing exercises because it gives you a timeline page by page to refer back to. My on-line ramblings jump from file to file and don’t refer to each other and are therefore very hard to recall.I will get a new mahoosive notebook tomorrow as I got through two for A215 and I want to keep it all together this time. I have also started a tiny notebook just for keywords then every time I come across a new word that I want to learn I put it in there for dredging out when I do my Commentaries. To explain – every assessed piece of creative writing you do at the OU has to be accompanied by a ‘commentary’ that details your creative process referencing stuff you’ve learned from reading and doing exercises, re character development, plot development, structure, forum/peer feedback, language and editing.) My fav word  added to my notebook this week is Antiphrasis which means saying one thing whilst meaning something else. E.g. if its tipping down and you say ‘nice weather for a picnic’ or if you call your novel Brave New World when its about a dreadful dystopia (like Aldous Huxley did) that’s antiphrasis. I like this word because I do it all the time. My story ”The Time Travellers Daughter’ is full of it (sort of). Which reminds me its been put on-line by Chester University Press. Here’s a link in case you fancy a read – It’s a wee story for free! Right off to do th’ironing then.

https://www.google.co.uk/#q=jan+kaneen++The+Time-traveller%27s+Daughter

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Up and at ’em early this morning to get boys off to rugby then re-wrote the story that I didn’t enter into this week’s Ad Hoc fiction. Let me explain. I wrote said  150 word story for and writing it made me cry – about the kids growing up – but I pressed the wrong button and didn’t sent it correctly so it was never entered. Bit of a bugger really because I tweeted how it had made me cry and a couple of lovely tweeps replied saying good luck and they’d try to guess which one it was. (Ad Hoc is judged by public vote and each piece is published anonymously). Tweeted again after I’d re-written it so they don’t waste their time tying to suss out which was mine! Had to be re-written as the prompt changes each week but as luck would have it this week’s prompt worked better and the story improved in the re-writing so all was good in the end.

Also finished my flash for Retreat West and one I’m saving for Sunday best. Not sure where I’ll send it. Its in 300 or 500 words so many options. Its not right for Bath I don’t think – bit dark. Might be better at Bare Fiction. Might send diff versions off to both. Need to win Ad Hoc first though to get a free entry! So not counting my chickens.

Did my blog at OU too so had quite a busy morning. Boys will be back anon then must go back home.

Reading OU manuals not going very well – keep managing to not prioritise them – so typical of me! Having read ‘getting started’ in the recommended readings list I have had  couple of ideas for the short stories I need to submit though. First is 2500 words short story fiction, second 2500 words Creative Non-fiction third is 4000 fiction. By a couple I mean three. One is v dark, one vv dark and the other seriously disturbing so I think my genre is horror/gothic scariness. No change there then.

So have done no writing or studying yet today due to: rows at home, having to drive, doing shopping/housework,doing more driving and going for a pot of tea with my friend Carol. I’m back at the wee house now so doing my blog before Harry and Murray get back.

Last night I enroled Harry at the gym in Wisbech which seemed to cheer him up muchly. He was in there for two hours so I sat in the caff in Tesco’s (the gym is in the same building as Tesco’s just opposite the caff) and read the intro to the course materials and intro to the forum on my iphone. Harry came out in a pretty good mood and by the time he did I knew a lot more about what is expected from me on the MA. Plan to read more tonight after the boys have had their teas.

Today  read a v. weird short story by Clarice Lispector who’s a Brazilian author translated  into English. Not sure if the weirdness is from the translation or the writer but I like it. Its weird in a good way.

I’m reading her stories because this October I’m having a story of mine published in a thang called No Bindings. It a sort of folded poster full of poems and flash fictions that you can read like a book or put on your wall and it’s accompanied by a podcast about the creative process. The editor Lily is coming to record me for the podcast bit in October and we’re going to explore the importance of memory in story writing whilst sorting through old photos  (This was inspired by Lily not being sure if my story was about real events or not.) I should stress Lily and I have never met and do not know each other beyond the fact that I submitted a flash story to her project) but this suggestion really struck a chord with me. My story is very sad – about loss – a fictional loss but everything I write, I realised, when pushed to consider it, is hovering in a hinterland close to autobiography but not quite – I use names of real people in an imagined setting, a real voice talking about a fictional happening. Lily thought my writing to be in the same continuum as Clarice Lispector (what a great name by the way) and now I’ve read one of her stories I kinda see what she means. Am going to read some more tonight when I’ve ploughed through the ‘how to use the on-line library’ bit of the website.

Lily is going to get all the contributors together too so we can chat about our work. I love the idea of this sort of ‘flash’ community that will meet once, share stories then dissolve – reminds me of the OU. You get so close to you tutor group digitally speaking for a year then you all break up come June never to meet again. You share such personal, intimate stuff, bearing souls and creativity then poof it all dissolves.

Right off to do some learning now. Oh yes – if you’re wondering why there’s a pug at the start of the page, it’s because when I started writing I thought I wouldn’t have much to say and thought it might fill the page up a bit. The pug in question is Hogarth who loves nothing better that to snooze on my chair, as you can see.

 

 

 

Back on the blog again after the dash of going back to school/college. George not entirely back to college but has done his induction for the new i-journalism course at CRC, starts properly on Monday. Not entirely sure what i-journalism is – think its a mixture of blogging, instagramming, digital photography, snap-chatting, tweeting and u-tubing with a sprinkling of app development chucked in. Doesn’t give details on website. My nephew Billy who works in PR and came to stay last week on a job in Peterborough says the Sun has an Instagram editor these days so shows what I know.

Harry went back to school last week and has been playing rugby practically every day. We had to drive to school three times even before term started for pre season training. He’s on the first fifteen this year but he’s having a tough time readjusting to being back – early mornings, long drives and newly extended school day not helping the usual reaclimatisation problems. Still I’m sure all will sort itself out in the fulness of time – anhyoo that’s not why I’m blogging – that would be because the OU website for the MA has gone live. Have decided that the focus of this blog will be to plot my progress as I try to become a better writer.

Have had a wee play on the website and it feels very daunting – the desktop is unfamiliar and seems to be a portal to room after room of stuff I need to know just to learn how to use it and the course materials! -never mind learning about Creative Writing I need to read the following first: Module guide, Forum Guide, How-to-use-the-on-line-library Guide, Assessment guide and that’s just for starters and everything’s digital so I’ll have to print them all out and read them with anotations like they used to do in the dark ages when there were only paper books (My default setting I’m afraid. I’m fine reading fiction digitally but manuals and  instructions just don’t go into my brain unless I scribble on them, read them twice, re-read them then then re-re-read them.And I have no printer here so I’m going to have to buy one and a wee table to put it on. So much to do prep-wise before I can even start learning about creative writing! But it must be done.

Tomorrow I will blog about my progress – might help secure what I’ve learned. I will also do my first OU MA site blog (we have a collective blog space where people have already started introducing themselves.) I will do the same in the morning.

Harry turned 16 on Tuesday which also didn’t help with the going back to school thing. He has such a rubbishly timed b/day – always the first week back after the longs hols – very depressing for him. I feel his pain as it was the same for me when I was a girl, only my birthday was always back to school in January after the Chrimbo holibobs – even worse if anything becuase it was back to school, freezing cold, everyone was skint, everyone was on a diet, everyone was sick of celebrating and just wanted to stay in eating gruel by themselves. On my 16th birthday I got a hairwash cos Mum and Dad were cash strapped – and that was wrapped up in old Xmas paper! So I really felt for poor old Harry and am taking him to join the gymn tonight now he’s sixteen by way of compensation. He’ll be back from school in a mo. Hoping the gymn thing will cheer him up.

Feeling very dozy this morning after staying up three nights in a row watching th’Olympics. It was so exciting watching the cyclists win last night. Laura Trott was wonderfully normal, crying like a real person at her final gold then crying more when her fiancé won his. I watched the gymnastics and Amy Tinkler win bronze despite having done her GCSE’s before the comp. Results when she gets home. What a superstar! Watched the swimming and team UK get a silver, then the boxing. When all that had finished I watched the biggest bunch of Eastern Europeans I’ve ever seen smashing the weight lifting world record. Think I’m getting addicted. I did this last time in 2012 then felt dead miserable when it had finished – post Olympics blues – what a dolt I am. It was the same feeling I got as a child when I’d finished all the Narnia books and there were none left to read. I’m already worrying about getting it instead of simply enjoying it all. Will paste pics of 2012 tomoz. Saw Mo Farrah get one of his golds in 2012 and Usain Bolt win the 100 metres. It was so amazing.

Its weird being up late in the hols. I see quite a lot more of the boys, bumping into them and their mates in the kitchen. Harry came home late last night with a couple of friends who stayed over. I haven’t seen one of them for a couple of years and I didn’t recognise him. He used to be a teeny, ordinary sort of boy. He’s now six foot two massive. Hench the boys say. I think its ‘hench’ it might be ‘henge.’It means built like a brick shithouse. Funny how they invent new words. ‘Rare’ is another one they say all the time meaning ‘a bit weird’ and ‘special,  ‘a one off.’

On the writing front am finishing a weird little flash about getting old, written as a series of instructions about firelighting. Will finish it today and send it off to Halo Litzine which is a new Flash mag for women. Have had a couple of stories published or accepted for publication which is good news but will write about that tomorrow as have to go to railway station now.